Letter to my nieces

My darling beautiful nieces, I love you each with all my being. I learnt how to love from my aunties and my mom, your gran. I learnt from the strongest most incredible women I've yet to meet. And I want to pass these lessons onto you.

This letter is to my three magical girls, and to every little girl.

I grew up knowing and seeing that women can do anything. From moving a table on their own, to investing money, working, cooking, nurturing and being beautiful all at once. There is nothing you cannot do. Nothing (yes can even pee standing up, it's necessary when you go on travels to weird and wonderful places with interesting toilet facilities).  

As a woman you hold the world in your hands and no one can or should try tell you anything different.

When you are at an age where society, at that time dictates you should get married, you really don't have to. Lesson one I learnt from my one special aunt. She worked as a lawyer for many years, brilliantly successful and capable. She traveled the world - she experienced life. I did the same. I went off to London and gallivanted around the world travelling. I had many different boyfriends who each taught me different ways to love and see the world. I made so many interesting quirky friends that remain in my life and heart years later. Those lessons and those people are irreplaceable in making me the person I am today.  

And now I'm ready to marry my heartsong - your crazy amazing uncle. I know what I am getting into, well you never know, but I have a realists view on marriage. It's fucking hard, sometimes it sucks, sometimes you will want to leave and get on a plain on go back to that life of travel and no obligations holding you down. When that happens,  you look down at your ring finger and look up at that person ( man or woman) and you make a choice to make it work- make it magic- make it what you want. Once again what society says a marriage is- ignore. You make your marriage or life partnership what you feel is right for you.

Be kind. You meet people every day that sometimes don't smile. We are surrounded by people that are walking around with a mountain of hurt in their hearts- be kind. Your good energy makes a difference.  You never know the change that your kind words or gesture could have on a person. Lesson two above, was learnt from my other magical aunt. The kindest, most generous angelic human. She radiates warmth wherever she goes. She is one of those ladies that everyone just wants to hug, wants to be in her presence because that alone heals you. You lose nothing by giving. It will come back to you tenfold. This is something I can promise you. What you radiate outwards into the world, will radiate straight back at you.

Get up, wake up and face whatever it is life has given you today. Sometimes it may be very painful, it may be a something you never thought would happen to you. Heartbreak, losing a job, losing someone you love, possible bouts of depression- friends coming and going. Just wake up- look at yourself in the mirror and know you can take it on. Lesson number three above, I learnt from my third magical aunt. At 30 years old she lost our dear uncle in a tragic way. And she got up. She made it work- she began a new beautiful family that staid connected to us. She made her life beautiful and did not let life’s many hurdles push her off course. Another lesson I learnt from aunty number 3-always stay close to family. They are you and you are them. Family is truly where the heart is and they will remain your compass,that is if you let them.

You can do anything.  I mean anything, anything at all. If you want to be an artist- be an artist. If you want to be a doctor- you can be a doctor. If you want to be a colourful hippie that travels the world with long dreadlocks, do that. You can. If you want to be a free, fairy loving, spiritual being that believes in energies and crystals- that is okay to. Your parents may have dreams of you being the next heart surgeon, but with love they will support you on your pathway. It is okay to be the cleverest, the best, and the prettiest- don’t shy away from that. Never feel guilty for achieving. Never apologies for being everything that you are able to be- and that you are blessed with being. This powerful lesson I learnt from your gran. Women are not scared of spiders. Women can run finances and change lightbulbs. Women are strong. And let me tell you, your gran is the strongest -the best.

And then, the last lesson from me- to you.

Sometimes you will not have the strength to pick up the pieces. Your heart will be broken. Life will throw some shitty things at you. And you know what? Fall to pieces. That beautiful family and those friends- you should invest time and love in. Let them pick up the pieces. And choose a partner who will also know how to do it.

Sometimes, there will come a time in your life, when it is just too much and you cannot carry the world. So take your box of tissues to bed- cry- sleep- cry some more. And summon your people to hold your hand. There is so much strength in being able to let others help you. Do it. It's not a failure.

Strength lies in being you and being true to your feelings.

On a side note from your aunty- do some courses on yourself. Get to know you. Inside, outside- the good, the bad and the ugly. None of us are perfect and when you embrace all of your qualities you will be a much happier person. So go for therapy, go to yoga, do gym - learn different things. Find your niche - and don't be worried if you have to try over and over again to find your niche. It takes a little bit of time.

Lastly beautiful girls- make your own set of lessons and rules. You are on this earth to learn your own individual pathway. Make it beautiful, and make it you. 

365 Lessons to Learn and to Teach

"When you talk you are only repeating what you already know, when you listen you may learn something new", Dalai Lama.

Each and every person that crosses our paths daily has something to teach us. I look at this often a little too deeply- what meaningful insight was I meant to gain from the lady that was rude to me at the grocery store. What am I mirroring at work that a work colleagues vanity is aggravating me? But sometimes the lessons we are meant to learn are not these BIG HUGE, weird and wonderful lessons- but small daily lessons. For example, a colleague at work needed help with a power-point presentation- I showed her something new to do to make the task simpler and quicker- and like that- she learnt a new lesson yesterday. I taught.

Similarly I was at my aunt the other day and she cutting avocados,she was pouring hot water over the avo and I learnt that this is to keep it from going brown. And boom. I learnt.

There are 365 days in a year- that means if we learn just one small new thing every day we will gain 365 new abilities and facts. Even better, we can teach 365 different things- we can give 365 little snippets of help to someone else.

So join me friends in sharing your knowledge every day... and in keeping a little silent to take in the wisdom of those near you.

With love and light always.

The Saga of Candy Crushing

I am a lover of social media. I admit. I love the stalking, I love the photos, I love the sharing,I love the glimpse you get to have into other people's lives, fears, hopes and dreams. Witnessing happy moments of those near and far just with a click of a button.

Recently - well with retrospect not so recent - I met farm saga. It became my therapy- any moment of angst there was my farm saga. Currently I have completed this game and await for new levels. And so, in my moment of need I turned to candy crusher. Well.. Well... We all know this story 

Am I addicted? No I don't think so. But I have no shame in requesting a life, a bit of help over a bridge from my fellow candy crushers. And the requests come in, but funny because I have no qualms giving lives to Facebook friends I probably would not greet. Help with extra moves - with pleasure but don't start a chat with me. 

Gaming. Social media. Technology. The world today. We are a little bit disconnected from each other- well a lot...  but at the same time we are all so connected. Because we know everything about everyone. The other day I bumped into someone I had not seen in years- she asked me "how is your Cat Shanti, she is so beautiful!"  For a second I thought, wait how do you know Shanti- where did you see my Shanti? Facebook. Instagram. Twitter. Shanti is famous. And I guess it is kind of nice, because there was a connection made- a conversation starter and well Shanti is totally gorgeous.

And that feeling when you meet someone new- totally out of the blue- you add each other on Facebook and wham- two mutual friends! Three degrees of separation right then and there- in action.

So sharing is caring, and I am okay with my small Candy Crush addiction (okay I admitted it), and next time someone does give me a Life on Candy Crush- I will send them a message to say THANK YOU.

Keep on sharing. Share with good intent and a good heart.

With love and light always 

My new friend- Mr Praying Mantis

For a few days now a praying mantis has been following me around. In my bedroom, when I get out the car, sitting on the washing basket- I turn my head and my little green friend is standing there. 

I see signs and meaning in everything around me- so I needed to know why this little guy was my new friend.

The word mantis comes from the Greek word mantikos meaning soothsayer or prophet. The praying mantis does have this look- it is like I want to ask him the meaning of the world, love, hate and my life purposes. And he looks so peaceful, in a terminal meditative state. Taking away from my usual inclination to look at the spiritual symbolism of this creature I looked at science.

Well this chap is the only insect whose eyesight works 180 degrees. Take a look at this little creature and do not get a fright when he looks over his shoulder straight at you. No other insect can do so. He sees the whole picture, and perhaps that is a lesson I need to learn. Stop dissecting the minute details in life, picking out the small things- I need to look at the big picture. What is that big picture? Well life is beautiful. I have love, I have my health and I have shifting moments of inner peace- which is a lot if you ask me. 

Another interesting scientific fact about Mr Mantis, well Mrs Mantis- the female sometimes have been known to eat the males . Lesson number two. Enough said

Lesson number three thanks to my scientific research. Mr Mantis only has one ear. So maybe I do not listen. Well I know I don't. Dashing out words of wisdom is easy but taking them- not so easy. A lesson to learn- listen. Listen to those around you who sometimes do know better. I need to listen to them. Listen to nature. Listen to your body- when it says "Stop feeding me those pizza's I feel sick", listen. And listen to your gut- when you get a certain gut feeling about something- it is probably right. I have come to learn your gut instinct knows no wrong. 

So Mr Mantis, thank you for your beautiful lessons this week. I look forward to seeing you later. 

Love and light as always xxx

Miss Magoo (possible genetic connection to Mr Magoo)

If there are ever auditions for a Miss Magoo, let me know, I will be a front runner. Most people like to call me clumsy, accident prone, often living in dream world. 

I like to call it lucky. 

Thanks to Wikipedia you can read a bit about the original Mr Magoo (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Magoo).... the best descriptor from this article "However, through uncanny streaks of luck, the situation always seems to work itself out for him, leaving him no worse than before."

And so, due to clumsiness, eyesight impairment (yes I have 20/20 vision but my view of the world is a little different to others) and a general confused perspective (I think its because I am colourful)- things seem to happen to me. 

Glasses seem to break wherever I go. I am seldom able to cook a meal without either burning myself or the food. Last night I was painting my nails in bed. My Peri says to me "Bab, um so like.. I am not being mean but you are like the clumsiest person I know and you are painting your nails in bed in luminous pink? Is this a good idea?". To which I replied "Don't be silly, of course it is a good idea". 5 minutes later, well, you can imagine. There was a line of bright pink nail polish across our white linen. I then tried to research ways to remove to which Peri recommended it was best to leave. With my history in mind, I would land up creating a hole through  the duvet. I knew this to be true, and so I left it.

Well anyway, if you ask me- it will remain an reminder of a lovely Sunday evening when I painted my nails in bed and ate tea and rusks. 

Mr Magoo is testament to a man with bad eyesight that manages through luck and blessings to get through life magically, unscathed and wonderful. So in the wonderful words from Mr Magoo "O Magoo, you have done it again"... and well its bloody marvelous. Nothing wrong with doing things a little bit differently. 

It is all a matter of perspective. 

With love and light always 

I'm sorry, I can't be Perfect

Alcohol Detox. Easy one, right?

In my few days of being totally sober at any social, work- human interaction- I have noticed that there are some people that are not actually very nice. People that I usually like a lot- laugh with and totally understand seem pretty idiotic when 100% sober. Talk about beer goggles! Not just the eyes that do not see when you are intoxicated. But also there are people that when they are drunk, they are totally opposite to the sober self.

It is so easy to see past other people's faults when you are a little bit drunk. That girl that is actually 10 kilos over the weight of "your usual type"- well she looks amazing. That arrogant twat of a man seems like a total gentleman. You don't notice that maybe the friend you have been talking to all night is actually very boring. You are able to open up your heart to anyone who will listen- able to dance like no one is watching. You are able to just be ridiculous and have unrivaled fun.

So yes alcohol has really  bad effects on a person. But the "beer goggles" that possibly make people seem so lovely, fun- seem so perfect- those are nice. I akin them to the rose tinted glasses I would like to wear sometimes through life. Everything can seem so pretty...

When the hangover lifts, and your eyes start to see clearly- the cracks start to show. People are suddenly not as beautiful as they were the night before, or fun, or interesting. Some people turn out to not even be very nice. Reality sets in... and yes, I think it does suck just a little bit.

Give me my rose tinted glasses back, just on loan, so everything can be perfect again.

With love and light, Art in Your Heart

Ebb and Flow

ebb and flow: to decrease and then increase, as with tides; a decrease followed by an increase
Life has its music and its silences. There are leavings and comings, hello's and goodbyes. Moments of being awake and times when we are resting.

I was at my mother's house over the weekend and I came across a picture of myself when I was 21. Skinny. Gorgeous. Tanned. Blond. Short skirted, fanciful and totally and utterly filled with fear. Scared of myself, scared of where the world would take me. I remember the day that photo was taken. I was going to a dress up  party with the theme "what not to wear". I had gotten a pink mini skirt, a pink barbie top, pink earrings, pink eye shadow- and the same pink ensemble for Tatum to wear.  Looking back at the picture I cannot believe how thin and gorgeous- and YOUNG I was. But that day I remember wishing I was thinner and feeling totally insecure. I remember just wanting a good boyfriend. I was so skinny at the time because I was recovering from a particularly painful break up that had crushed my self esteem and made me doubt my sense of self. I was complex, complicated and totally vulnerable.

So yes, when I looked at that photo I did make my entire family  have a moment of silence for the amazing skinniness that  I now yearn for.... but... well.... did it make me happy? No. Almost ten years later, and more than 10 kilos later, I am no longer waif like (chubby sexy is term I like to use). And yes I would love to look like that former 21 year old girl... but instead of spending those 10 years primping, preening and beautifying, I spent them learning to love myself.

I have spent 10 years fighting my fears, delving into my demons, building a career, manifesting dreams and loving. Truly and utterly loving. I met the love of my soul Peri. I found my heartsong cats Rumples and Shanti that every day bring me joy. I worked on my friendships daily, and still do. I spent precious moments eating huge unhealthy meals with family and friends and making memories.

And so, with the ebb and flow of life- there are times we are skinny and times we are not. Times we are fearful and then times we climb mountains. So go forth... climb your mountains, love with your heart and soul and let go of all those former selves- they have had their time and place.

With love and light always