Find something that anchors you, that keeps you looking forward

So, the truth is, I am not a naturally happy person. There I said it.

I am prone to being melancholic, I could spend two days in bed watching sad movies eating ice cream and actually enjoy the misery of it. In saying this, it took me some time to realize that being happy is not necessarily something that just comes naturally. To some, maybe, a lucky few. The rest of us have to work at being happy. As you do with most things in life. Relationships, work, our bodies, our minds and our emotional well being.

With a bit of experience in the dark world of depression, where curtains are closed and nothing seems very joyous--- I forced myself to get up and get going. No, not over night. No not over a year. Not over years. A work in progress... and I learnt some methods ... I will share a few..

Number 1. Have Faith.

When I say have Faith, I don't mean it has to be in a Gd, although that works. I don't mean it was to be in a spiritual being even. I mean faith in anything. Faith in the trees, faith that the sky will always be there, faith in a rock, faith in the moon. Faith in a friend. Faith in Buddha, Jesus, Gd, Spirits, Energy, Crystals. Faith in something. Why does this work? Well, it stops you from ever, ever giving up. No matter how bad things seem to be, no matter the dark smoke that surrounds you or the aching pain inside, there is something outside of you that you believe in.

And if something outside of you has to exist regardless of the rest of the world's turmoil- well then everything has to be okay. There is a constant to hold onto.

Number 2. Love

Love does not mean marriage, or having a partner (male or female). Love means caring for another being on this earth. Animals count. Yourself counts. Just love, find a way to feel pure and unconditional love for someone or something. I always remember going to a healer, and they asked me to close my eyes and meditate on the one time I felt completely loved. The thing that came to mind was lying on the couch with my cat Rumples. That is okay. I felt love. One start of love.. opens up a door to endless love. Believe me.

Number 3. Hold back on that Judgement

We are all very quick to judge, myself included.. but how do we ever know the journey other people are on? How do we know if the guy that cut us off in traffic was possibly rushing to the hospital? or if your boss being in a bad mood is due to a personal crisis you cannot imagine. I am not saying focus on other people's problems, we have enough of our own, I am saying just be accepting of people. Let go of instant judgement and anger and realize that yes- OTHER PEOPLE ARE ALSO ALLOWED TO HAVE A BAD DAY.

Number 4. Let yourself feel

In saying all of the above. Sometimes things are just really damn bad.. and sometimes you just need to fall to pieces. You need to lie in bed, drink a glass of wine, cry, watch sad movies and feel sorry for yourself. And you should.. because YOU ARE ALLOWED TO HAVE A BAD DAY.

With love and light xoxoxo and happiness shared always