Tuesday, 2 June 2015

Letter to my nieces

My darling beautiful nieces, I love you each with all my being. I learnt how to love from my aunties and my mom, your gran. I learnt from the strongest most incredible women I've yet to meet. And I want to pass these lessons onto you.

This letter is to my three magical girls, and to every little girl.

I grew up knowing and seeing that women can do anything. From moving a table on their own, to investing money, working, cooking, nurturing and being beautiful all at once. There is nothing you cannot do. Nothing (yes can even pee standing up, it's necessary when you go on travels to weird and wonderful places with interesting toilet facilities).  

As a woman you hold the world in your hands and no one can or should try tell you anything different.

When you are at an age where society, at that time dictates you should get married, you really don't have to. Lesson one I learnt from my one special aunt. She worked as a lawyer for many years, brilliantly successful and capable. She traveled the world - she experienced life. I did the same. I went off to London and gallivanted around the world travelling. I had many different boyfriends who each taught me different ways to love and see the world. I made so many interesting quirky friends that remain in my life and heart years later. Those lessons and those people are irreplaceable in making me the person I am today.  

And now I'm ready to marry my heartsong - your crazy amazing uncle. I know what I am getting into, well you never know, but I have a realists view on marriage. It's fucking hard, sometimes it sucks, sometimes you will want to leave and get on a plain on go back to that life of travel and no obligations holding you down. When that happens,  you look down at your ring finger and look up at that person ( man or woman) and you make a choice to make it work- make it magic- make it what you want. Once again what society says a marriage is- ignore. You make your marriage or life partnership what you feel is right for you.

Be kind. You meet people every day that sometimes don't smile. We are surrounded by people that are walking around with a mountain of hurt in their hearts- be kind. Your good energy makes a difference.  You never know the change that your kind words or gesture could have on a person. Lesson two above, was learnt from my other magical aunt. The kindest, most generous angelic human. She radiates warmth wherever she goes. She is one of those ladies that everyone just wants to hug, wants to be in her presence because that alone heals you. You lose nothing by giving. It will come back to you tenfold. This is something I can promise you. What you radiate outwards into the world, will radiate straight back at you.

Get up, wake up and face whatever it is life has given you today. Sometimes it may be very painful, it may be a something you never thought would happen to you. Heartbreak, losing a job, losing someone you love, possible bouts of depression- friends coming and going. Just wake up- look at yourself in the mirror and know you can take it on. Lesson number three above, I learnt from my third magical aunt. At 30 years old she lost our dear uncle in a tragic way. And she got up. She made it work- she began a new beautiful family that staid connected to us. She made her life beautiful and did not let life’s many hurdles push her off course. Another lesson I learnt from aunty number 3-always stay close to family. They are you and you are them. Family is truly where the heart is and they will remain your compass,that is if you let them.

You can do anything.  I mean anything, anything at all. If you want to be an artist- be an artist. If you want to be a doctor- you can be a doctor. If you want to be a colourful hippie that travels the world with long dreadlocks, do that. You can. If you want to be a free, fairy loving, spiritual being that believes in energies and crystals- that is okay to. Your parents may have dreams of you being the next heart surgeon, but with love they will support you on your pathway. It is okay to be the cleverest, the best, and the prettiest- don’t shy away from that. Never feel guilty for achieving. Never apologies for being everything that you are able to be- and that you are blessed with being. This powerful lesson I learnt from your gran. Women are not scared of spiders. Women can run finances and change lightbulbs. Women are strong. And let me tell you, your gran is the strongest -the best.

And then, the last lesson from me- to you.

Sometimes you will not have the strength to pick up the pieces. Your heart will be broken. Life will throw some shitty things at you. And you know what? Fall to pieces. That beautiful family and those friends- you should invest time and love in. Let them pick up the pieces. And choose a partner who will also know how to do it.

Sometimes, there will come a time in your life, when it is just too much and you cannot carry the world. So take your box of tissues to bed- cry- sleep- cry some more. And summon your people to hold your hand. There is so much strength in being able to let others help you. Do it. It's not a failure.
Strength lies in being you and being true to your feelings.

On a side note from your aunty- do some courses on yourself. Get to know you. Inside, outside- the good, the bad and the ugly. None of us are perfect and when you embrace all of your qualities you will be a much happier person. So go for therapy, go to yoga, do gym - learn different things. Find your niche - and don't be worried if you have to try over and over again to find your niche. It takes a little bit of time.

Lastly beautiful girls- make your own set of lessons and rules. You are on this earth to learn your own individual pathway. Make it beautiful, and make it you.